Topor-Stanley brings down the house with hilarious pre-retirement gag: ‘I ain’t leavin!’

A-Leagues legend Nikolai Topor-Stanley announced his retirement from the game on Wednesday morning, with his illustrious 17 year career coming to an end at the conclusion of Western United’s season.

Western United defender Nikolai Topor-Stanley believes the “time was right” to announce his retirement from professional football, wanting to end his almost two-decade long career on his “own terms”.

The 38-year-old centre-back – who has made the second-most appearances in Isuzu UTE A-League history (379) – will play his final game at the end of the reigning champions’ 2022-23 Isuzu UTE A-League campaign.

Part of Western’s Championship winning side in 2021-22, has at least two matches remaining to add to his tally before hanging up his boots, but potentially more should United make the finals.

END OF AN ERA: A-Leagues legend Topor-Stanley calls time on a career spanning almost two decades

One of the A-Leagues great defenders and characters by the same token, Topor-Stanley started his retirement speech to teammates and Western’s coaching staff in the manner only he could, quoting Leonardo Di Caprio’s portrayal of Jordan Belfort from the Wolf of Wall Street.

“I just want to announce I’m signing a new five year deal at Western United… I ain’t effin leaving,” he joked before the official press conference kicked off, which evoked a round of applause.

However, when the press conference formally started, Topor-Stanley – who sat next to his wife Kylie and two kids, Luna and Remy – shed light on why he felt it was time to hang up the boots.

“I just felt the time was right. I wanted to go out on my own terms, so to speak,” he said.

“I wanted to be remembered as a useful addition to a squad and it has to end some time and I felt that this was the right time to move on to a new aspect of my life, with my family and I look forward to what lies ahead.”

Topor-Stanley was one of coach John Aloisi’s first signings in 2021, joining the club after a four year stint at Newcastle Jets.

The A-Leagues legend made 21 appearances en route to United sealing a finals berth but, unfortunately, got injured on the eve of the finals, meaning he was on the sidelines during Western’s run to the Championship last May.

He since returned to feature 14 times this season and will be hoping to add to those in the two games remaining in the regular season, with United sitting three points outside the top six and pushing for a finals berth.

However, throughout the last two seasons, Topor-Stanley’s minutes and appearances have tapered as the likes of Leo Lacroix and Tomoki Imai usurped him in the pecking order for the most part – but his professionalism still shone through – leading by example even when “things got tough”.

“I think I said this to John (Aloisi) when I told him that I was going to retire that if I didn’t lead by example, with my actions and my mentality, I’d be a hypocrite, especially if I wasn’t playing week in, week out,” he said.

“When things got tough on me personally, because everyone wants to play, everyone wants to play every minute but it’d be hypocritical of me to not do what I’ve always done and I’m proud to say that I’ve done that in my time here.

“I was also speaking to Josh Risdon about this in Adelaide that there are plenty of moments in my career that if I could go back and undo what I did or act differently, I would, but I don’t regret it because those are the moments of learning, those are the moments of growth.

“And through making mistakes and coming to the realisation that I have to be better is what’s led me to where I am today.”

Aloisi praised Topor-Stanley’s work ethic during his time at the club, taking note of how he sets an example for the younger players in the squad through his actions on the training field.

“It’s important to get people like Nikolai in to help build that culture and he’s done that on the field and off the field,” he said.

“Every day he comes in ready to train, to always learn, to keep on improving and I’m not gonna tell your age because Foxy (Hayden Foxe) got it wrong the other day, so I might get it wrong myself.

“But for someone to come in and want to learn every day at his age is a great example for the younger players.”

Before joining Western, the four-time Socceroo enjoyed a long, winding A-League Men’s career – playing for a multitude of different clubs throughout the journey.

Topor-Stanley’s career started at Sydney FC in 2006, signing as an injury replacement player initially, before earning a permanent deal shortly after.

He then joined Perth Glory, where he took the next step in his development – earning a call-up to the national team and the Olyroos’ Beijing Olympics side in 2008, before arriving at Newcastle Jets in 2009.

However, he experienced the most success at the Western Sydney Wanderers as a member of their inaugural squad in 2012, where he became a mainstay in the heart of their defence alongside former Socceroos defender Michael Beauchamp.

During his time at Western Sydney, Topor-Stanley was part of the side that won the Premiership in 2013 and more famously, the Asian Champions League the following year against Al Hilal in a dramatic two-legged final.

After a voyage overseas to join Hatta Club in the United Arab Emirates, the centre-back returned to the Jets for a second time, where he incredibly, won Goal of the Season in the 2019/2020 season – before making the move to Western.

“The people in this room represent my current football family, but as they say, I’ve had more clubs than Tiger Woods!” he said.

“It’d be remiss of me not to acknowledge all the people at other clubs that I’ve encountered along the way that have helped me become the man I am today.”

Throughout the journey, Topor-Stanley has seen the A-League Men grow significantly, debuting for the Sky Blues in season two of the competition and retiring 17 years later.

The 2013 A-League All-Star said he’s “proud” of the league’s growth during that time, particualry in professionalism and standards within clubs.

“You don’t really give it a thought until it’s coming towards the end. You’re engrossed with your duties and I guess whatever else was going on in your life,” he said.

“I’m sure I’ll reflect a lot more once I’m out of the game and I can see it from a different perspective as not being so insular, but I’m proud of where we’ve come from.

“We’ve definitely come a long way in terms of playing standards and standards of professionalism from clubs. I shudder to think of what was the acceptable standard at the beginning.

“A lot of people in here would know that as well, but to have a small part of that and to be able to say I contributed was something I’m proud of.”

Topor-Stanley put any doubts about his availability for this weekend’s must-win clash against Melbourne City to rest, saying he will be good to go on Saturday night, despite being seen limping after their 1-0 win over Adelaide.